Mushroom Parmesan risotto, anyone?

Risotto has always been a favorite dish of mine to order in restaurants.  My mother and grandmother never cooked it at home, which I now find surprising.  I suppose people have a misconception that it is a difficult dish to cook properly, but I find risotto dishes to be simple and oh so satisfying.  

Sure, it's a somewhat labor intensive dish because the risotto needs to be stirred very regularly and the temperature needs to be regulated so that the rice cooks and absorbs the broth slowly.  But at dinner time, aren't most of us chatting and walking around the kitchen with whatever errands, anyway?  That's what I do, and in between I stir and check on the risotto. 


Now that risotto is part of my regular repertoire, I have the basics down and can play with the other ingredients, which can really be just about anything.  So far I've made butternut squash, lemon, asparagus, sun dried tomato, and of course, mushroom risotto.  

My mushroom risotto preparation differs from many recipes you'll find online in that I dehydrate the mushrooms in the oven first.  This is something I learned to do with mushroom mac and cheese, and since I like the flavor of the oven roasted mushrooms decided to do the same for the risotto.  The alternative preparation would be to saute the mushrooms in a pan and then set aside cooked mushrooms and the reserved broth to be added to the risotto once the rice is near done.  I think the mushrooms can be too wet with that method, so instead I present to you my own recipe: 


Mushroom Parmesan Risotto

Ingredients: 

1 & 3/4 c. arborio rice
4 tbs olive oil 
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 medium sweet onion (I used a small portion of yellow onion that I had leftover and a medium red onion)
1 c. white wine
6 c. vegetable broth (plus some water if you start running low on broth)
8 oz package of white or baby portobello mushrooms
1 c. freshly grated Parmesan cheese, plus more to taste
1/4 c. chopped parsley
kosher salt, to taste
fresh cracked pepper, to taste

Method:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Wash and slice mushrooms, then toss with 1-2 tbs olive oil, kosher salt and fresh cracked pepper.  Spread out the sliced mushrooms on a piece of parchment paper on a baking sheet, and dehydrate mushroom in the oven for about 30 minutes.  Keep an eye on the roasting mushrooms, as cooking time will vary depending on large the slices are and on your personal preference for how well done  you want the mushrooms.  

In the meantime, begin heating the vegetable stock on the stove-top, as the rice will absorb the heated broth better.  Then, mince the garlic and chop the onion.  Preheat a large saute pan over medium high heat and swirl in about 2 tbs of olive oil.  Once the oil is hot, add garlic and brown for about 3 minutes.  I like to lower the heat at this point, because there's nothing worse than burnt garlic and there is less room for error cooking at the lower temperature for longer.  I then raise the heat just before adding the chopped onion.  Saute onions until they become tender and somewhat translucent, about 8 minutes.

Next, lower the heat to medium low, add the arborio rice and mix well with the onion, olive oil, garlic combination, moistening the rice.  You want to saute the rice along with the onion for a couple of minutes before adding the white wine.  Stirring consistently, watch the rice closely as the wine will absorb quickly.  Then add a ladles worth of vegetable broth, and continue to stir consistently (not constantly, but don't leave the risotto alone for more than a minutes or so without giving it a quick stir - if you have to abandon the stove top for longer, reduce or shut off the heat momentarily).  As the rice absorbs the broth, continue to ladle in more in small portions.

I find that it usually takes 35 to 45 minutes to cook the risotto.  I usually add the rest of the vegetables, in this case mushrooms, about 25 minutes in to cooking the rice.  Add mushrooms and continue adding broth as needed.  If you run out of broth, adding some water is fine, but be sure to heat cold tap water up before adding to risotto.  When the risotto is tender but still al dente, add Parmesan cheese, parsley, salt and pepper to taste, and stir thoroughly.

Serve immediately, top with a little extra Parmesan cheese and maybe a pinch of parsley, and enjoy!

I enjoyed this dish so much for dinner that I ate the leftovers for breakfast :) True story.

Oh, and by skipping the cheese, you can easily make this vegan.  Really, the risotto is creamy enough without the cheese, it's not a big sacrifice to the dish. 

Why You Should Join Me in Boycotting Belvedere Vodka

Let me begin by saying that I am not someone who is easily offended.  Maybe we all think that about ourselves, but in my case, I swear it is the truth.  Some of my favorite TV shows include It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Absolutely Fabulous, Arrested Development, Family Guy, South Park, Tosh.0, Louie, and anything by Ricky Gervais.  I can genuinely appreciate crass, offensive humor when done intelligently.  And okay, I can agree that Tosh.0 may not be considered intelligent, but I still laugh very loudly and uncomfortably when I watch the program, offensive humor, grotesque internet clips, et al.

Tweeted Advertisement

That being said, THIS is not humor in any way.  It's not even clever.  

The offense in question (pictured right) is a Belvedere Vodka advertisement the company tweeted last week that directly compares their product to an unwilling sex act - to sexual assault.  With the tag line, "Unlike some people, Belvedere always goes down smoothly," and a photograph of a frightened female trying to remove herself from the grasps of a man, this advertisement is very clearly making light of a woman being forced to perform oral sex, as if it is a totally socially acceptable occurrence.  And well, maybe it is often accepted behind closed doors and even sometimes in public spaces, but that is the PROBLEM we need to correct.  Not promote. 

This ad is reprehensible and grossly irresponsible.  It is also an insult to the customers of this brand of liquor.  Not to mention an insult to victims of sexual assault everywhere.  I think I find it particularly disturbing because it makes light of rape between friends or acquaintances, or even lovers.  Too many of us know that being raped by someone you are supposed to trust is possibly the hardest type of rape to report, or hell, to even admit to or discuss.  And for this reason, this ad makes me physically ill. 

Belvedere Vodka has issued two apologies: one, incredibly insincere, the second, slightly more sincere, paired with a donation to RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network), but still completely inadequate in my mind.  You can read the full apology here at Business Insider.   

Why is Belvedere's apology inadequate?  Sure, the president of the company has said of the ad that it shouldn't have happened and that he will make it sure it never happens again.  But it did happen.  And where is the accountability if every time a corporation or public figure that causes a gross offense can simply issue an apology and write a tax-exempt check?  No, I'm sorry but that is not good enough for me.  Even if they now regret it, the company did create and distribute this advertisement.  It happened.  And there should be repercussions.

I understand that Belvedere Vodka is not going to publicly name and fire the group of individuals who created and distributed the advertisement, and nor should they.  To do so would be foolish and irresponsible, as it could put those individuals in personal danger - and while I think they are probably a big group of a**holes, I don't wish them physical harm. And I don't want Belvedere Vodka to be able to use the limited actions of their creative ad team as a scapegoat because ultimately Belvedere Vodka, in its fullest and grandest sense, is the guilty party.  And a five sentence apology and donation doesn't make the wrong they committed right. 

And so I will boycott Belvedere Vodka for the foreseeable future in the hopes that the company experiences a very real backlash in the way of financial agony.  I will continue to spread the word and encourage others to discontinue any future ties with the vodka company.  I hope you agree with me and join in sending a meaningful message to Belvedere Vodka that we will not accept their promotion of a rape culture.  Rape and sexual assault of any kind are never okay.  Let's take a stand.

Spinach Apple Salad Redux & Curried Couscous

Spinach apple salad and curried couscous

I must say, eating completely vegetarian has not been a challenge at all.  In fact, it has influenced me to seek out new recipes featuring different ingredients, and that's awesome - welcomed new experiences!  I really have not missed eating meat at all and it's been ten days.  

Last night I revisited the spinach apple salad that I raved about last week.  This time I made it with toasted walnuts, a preparation that is considerably lower in calories as I simply used cooking spray and toasted the nuts with the maple sugar sprinkled on top, instead of sauteing them in butter or oil.  Again, the salad was a big hit and thanks to me, there was not a bite left over. 

Paired with the salad I made a curried couscous dish, following this recipe by the Barefoot Contessa.  It was also a great success, although in the future I would use less dressing as I thought it was a little overly moist.  The one substitution I made to the dish was that I added English cucumber and omitted carrot, which I think made a lovely change.  

Couscous is something that I've only made once or twice in the past and if memory serves me well, it was a WeightWatchers recipe that I followed.  Now I can't wait to try some new couscous dishes!  Any recommendations?? 

Homemade Butternut Squash Ravioli

One of my new favorite dishes is Butternut Squash Ravioli. I've made this dish twice now, each time basing the recipe on the one found here , each time making a few changes.  Yes, even with the use of wonton wrappers, this dish is pretty labor intensive, but the ravioli can easily be prepared a few days in advance, the sauce takes only minutes to whip up, and really, the taste and texture and the satisfaction at having made this beautiful dish by hand, make all the effort well worth it.  Definitely make this on a night you have guests, as this is a dish sure to wow. 

Homemade butternut squash ravioli

The recipes I have found online for this dish usually call for using one cup of butternut squash.  But one butternut squash yields more like 2 1/2 cups of fleshy squash, so I double the recipe and change the proportions a bit.  This dish is vegetarian, not vegan, but I could see a cashew or other nut "cheese" making a nice substitute for the cheeses I have used.  Here's my recipe:

Butternut Squash Ravioli

Ingredients:

1 butternut squash

kosher salt (~1/2 tbsp + more to taste)

fresh cracked black pepper (~1 tsp + more to taste)

nutmeg (~ 1 tsp + more to taste)

cayenne pepper (~ 1/2 tsp)

1 cup soft cream cheese

1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese 

3 tbsp heavy cream

1 package wonton wrappers (seek out egg-free brands if cooking vegan)

2 tbsp butter

fresh sage (or dried, if you can't get your hands on fresh like I couldn't)

pumpkin pie spice

2 tbsp olive oil

sliced blanched almonds (optional - I did not have these on hand)

To start, preheat the oven to 350 degrees in order to roast the butternut squash.  Wash the outside of the squash, cut off the ends, then slice it in half lengthwise.  Use a spoon to remove the seeds and the stringy surrounding flesh.  Place the two halves in a roasting pan, fleshy side up, and season with salt, pepper, and nutmeg.  Then, pour water over the squash, also filling the pan with a shallow (less than a cm) layer of liquid.  (The first time I made this dish, I poured a combination of orange juice and water over the squash for the roasting, which worked nicely.  I would have done the same this time around only I didn't have any juice on hand and none of the recipes online called for the use of anything other than water as far as I could see.)  Cover the pan with tin foil and roast for 35-45 minutes.  Then go have a drink, because you really can't proceed until the squash is done roasting and has cooled a bit :)

Spiced butternut squash and cheese ravioli filling

Once the butternut squash has fully cooked and cooled a bit, scoop it off the rind into a mixing bowl.  You will probably have about two and a half cups of squash, which is going to make a lot of ravioli filling.  If you don't want so much, cut the recipe in half.  Or freeze half the filling.  Or use it for something else, like I did - I used about half of the filling to make 44 ravioli, then I used the leftover mixture to make butternut squash risotto two days later.

Add to the butternut squash the cream cheese, heavy cream, Parmesan cheese, salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, and pumpkin pie spice.  The amount of spice is something you really need to determine by tasting the butternut squash mixture.  It will also largely depend on how ripe and flavorful the butternut squash was to start, so each time you make this dish the spice amounts may vary greatly depending on the particular squash.

Once the butternut squash filling is seasoned to your liking, set up your ravioli work station: a flat dry surface on which to lay the wonton wrappers and a finger bowl of water.  (Begin heating water to boil the finished ravioli around this point.)  Scoop about 1/2 tbsp size dollops of filling into the center of each wonton wrapper.  Use either a basting brush or your finger to moisten the outside edges of the wonton so that you can then fold and press the ravioli closed. 

As the water is almost ready to boil, heat butter and olive oil in a saute pan.  Add sage, salt, pepper, sliced almonds and pumpkin pie spice and heat over low heat stirring frequently.  Cook the ravioli in the boiling water for approximately four minutes.  Remove from water with a large pasta utensil, add butter sage sauce, top with some more freshly grated Parmesan cheese and viola! Delicious homemade butternut squash ravioli!!

Anti-Street Harassment Week

One of my favorite blogs, Gender Across Borders, made me aware that this is Anti-Street Harassment Week, or Street Harassment Awareness Week.  Two days ago, I read the GAB post titled "She's Not Asking For It: Street Harassment and Women in Public Spaces," which was the inspiration behind this post.

Like most women, dealing with street harassment has been a regular part of my life since puberty.  Like fewer women, I went through puberty at age 8, began wearing a bra in the third grade, and was my full height and only slightly smaller than I am now as a curvy thirty year old by the age of twelve. What this meant for me (and my poor mother!) was that much older men began hitting on me before I was even a teenager. And of course, the cat calls began very early on. 

For some reason, when explaining my experience with street harassment I want to explain the physical characteristics that make me susceptible to harassment, such as my DDD breasts (even modest clothing can seem revealing when you're dealing with D+ cleavage) or my very pale skin that really stands out in summer.  But my appearance is not the point! None of our appearances are the point.  We all look very different and we all must navigate through harassment in public spaces.  And my initial reaction to explain why my appearance leads to the harassment just shows how ingrained the gender power system is in my own mind as well (me, a self-described feminist since the age of 7 or earlier!), because I seemed to be ready to essentially support the excuses of unenlightened men who participate in and defend street harassment. Pshh. How could I!?! 


Growing up in the suburbs in a neighborhood with very little car traffic and even less foot traffic, cat calls were usually limited to my walks on more main roads - when going to Carvel, to the 7-11, or to buy CDs at The Wall.  Then I went to college in Philadelphia, and the cat calls starting coming from strange and sometimes intimidating men who were standing within feet or meters of me, instead of the "safe" distance of a car.  I was young and living in West Philadelphia, so of course I almost always walked with at least one other friend at night.  But even then, we would be harassed in groups by groups of men or sometimes frat boys.  One time the harassment turned into assault as a girlfriend and I walked home on the main walk through campus and were both physically touched, my skirt being lifted off my body, by a group of drunk guys on the swim team (idiots were wearing their team jackets - not that us being able to later identify them did the guys any real harm - maybe the coach lectured them).

After college I worked in Manhattan and shortly thereafter moved to Brooklyn.  Since walking in urban areas has been my primary mode of transportation for the last 8 years, the street harassment has been regular and plentiful. 


But did I feel like it was hindering me from participating in... well, in life? In doing the things I enjoyed? Certainly it did effect some of my clothing choices, as I think it does for all of us women.  Which isn't fair. But not until recently, until my move from Brooklyn to Union City, New Jersey, did the street harassment really start effecting me. 


In the last three months, I've had to get used to the fact that every time I leave the house men will harass me in some way. In one week in January, three times that I went out on walks with my dogs, men approached me and walked with me, continued talking to me and hitting on me after I told them I wasn't interested, after I said I have a boyfriend that I live with, still pursued. Asked me personal questions and lingered for so long that on each of those walks I had to walk out of my way to be sure to not let the men see where I live. 


Since that experience, which shook me up a bit, I haven't been walking my dog much further than two or three streets away and have only taken her to the dog park a couple of times.  I also tend to stay home when no one else is home - if my  ex-boyfriend or our friend that is staying with us are in, it seems less scary to venture out.  It's getting warmer out, and I'm someone who seldom wears pants - I'm always in a dress, in summer, often strapless - but since the move to this neighborhood, I may be uncomfortable wearing my normal wardrobe.

I'm a jogger. When I run, I know my ass is hanging out in tight black leggings.  I've gotten a few "nice ass" cat calls while on runs in this neighborhood, but that didn't bother me much.  Sure, the men shouldn't feel it's okay to say, let alone yell, such things about my or any other persons body, but I wasn't made to feel uncomfortable. In general I find work-out clothes garner me less male attention, perhaps because I look empowered. So I'm left living somewhere where I can more easily go for a run than a casual walk with my dog!

So I wonder, what can I do in honor of Anti-Street Harassment Week? How can I contribute to ending this problem? Well, I think talking about it is the beginning. I should share my experiences with it, you should share yours. We should talk to young people about it. Girls and boys alike need to know not to participate in it and not to accept it from other.

On a positive note, when walking my dog around the block for her last walk of the day two nights ago, a couple of young men - probably between 18 and 20, approached from behind and crossed the street to allow me to walk on my side of the sidewalk undisturbed. I heard the conversation, and one young man suggested crossing the street to the other man and explained that that is what you should do when you see a woman walking by herself, unless you want to walk behind her to protect her from something. Yeah, I heard this right around the block, in this neighborhood where I have otherwise found the street harassment to be on steroids! So there is hope! Hope in the young!

Homemade Vegetable Broth

Stock ingredients for homemade vegetable broth

So, despite what my blogger profile may say, I actually moved outside of NYC this January to Union City, new jersey. (De-emphasis very intentional.)

Union City, which is just outside of Hoboken, is the most densely populated city in the United States and has been for over a decade. Its population is over 84% Hispanic or Latino. Like most areas immediately outside of Manhattan, this is a low income area. And the grocery stores and other food options reflect these factors greatly. Which is cool if you're into empanadas. Or like a very big variety of corn, which I can appreciate. Less cool if you are eating vegetarian. 

The grocery stores in walking distance from me (and I am willing to walk over a mile for my groceries) simply do not carry many of the food products that I consider basic needs, which have always been easily available to me in other areas. Here's a brief list of some of the products that I have not been able to find:

Parmesan or similar hard Italian cheeses
Fresh mozzarella
Low-fat organic milk
Coke Zero
Shallots
Fresh sage
Fresh basil
Bread (pretty much I can only find small rolls or slice packaged bread loaves)
Butternut Squash
Zucchini & squash
Mushrooms
Risotto
Vegetable Broth

Really, the list goes on and on. But the mischievous item that I could not get my hands on, which was the inspiration behind this post, is vegetable broth. Yes, this very basic simple product that is made by many mainstream food manufacturers is no where to be found in walking distance from my house! In fact, the concept of wanting soup stock without meat seemed pretty foreign to the managers of my two regular grocery stores. 

Since vegetable broth is something I need for multiple dishes I plan to cook this week (risotto, couscous, potato leek soup), last night I decided to make my own broth from the vegetables I had on hand. 

Why have I never done this before?!? Probably because in the past I always used chicken broth and the idea of making that is gross (not like that stopped my mom). Well, now that I know how simple and gratifying it is to make my own, I'm pretty sure my days of buying store brand broth are over.

The vegetables I had laying around to toss into the pot: carrots, mushrooms, leeks, red onion, yellow onion, red pepper, and fresh parsley. I also tossed in salt, pepper, peppercorns and a pinch of dried tarragon. Why tarragon? I don't know. I just thought I'd throw it in.

I filled this large pot rather high with water, which I thought might be an issue, but really the broth came out much more concentrated than I expected. At one point, we noticed an unpleasant sulfuresque smell emerging from the simmering stock, which I think may have come from the mushrooms. In time it subsided and the broth began to smell like delicious roasted vegetable soup. 

I cooked the broth for a little over two hours. I then removed the vegetables and strained the broth through a clean paper towel - my substitute for cheese cloth or coffee filters. Worked fine. The broth came out a dark caramel color, and I will probably dilute it a bit when cooking the risotto, but will leave it be for the potato leek soup. Next time I think I will make a larger quantity, as this batch is only going to get me through three dinners! 


I tossed the vegetables from the stock, which seemed wasteful but I didn't know what else to do with them. Anyone have any good ideas for a use of boiled veggies? Or are they nutritionally void once the stock is complete? I considered saving them to mix with my dog's food, but I know dogs should not eat onions and didn't feel like researching each of the other vegetables so that idea went out the window. 


This experience, brought to me by my vegetarian experiment, was definitely a positive one. Here's looking forward to the next surprise going veg brings me!!

Awesome Spinach Apple Salad

Last night's dinner definitely had one shining star: the spinach apple salad. (The below post which is also labeled with today's date was actually written yesterday, March 15th.) Unfortunately, because I had a guest and was sort of entertaining, I failed to take photos of this beautiful delicious salad. And then after dinner I promptly ate all of the leftovers, again missing an opportunity to photograph. But, I will DEFINITELY be adding this salad to my regular repertoire so I'm sure I will have a photo to add in the future. For now, here's the recipe. 

(Photos added March 28, 2012)

Spinach apple salad

Dressed spinach apple salad

 

Spinach Apple Salad Recipe 

baby spinach (bag of pre-washed leaves)
apple, I used 2 Fiji apples, sliced into thin wedges
red onion, sliced thin with mandolin
pecans, toasted with maple sugar & olive oil (or butter if you're not keeping it vegan)
kosher salt & fresh cracked pepper to taste
red grapes, halved (I forgot to purchase grapes, but I'm sure they'd be a great addition!)

dressing, whisked together and tossed over spinach just before serving:
3 tbs extra virgin olive oil
2 tbs apple cider vinegar
1 tbs white wine vinegar
1/2 tsp sugar
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp mustard of choice


Can't wait to make this salad again!

Going Veg!! The Start of My 30 Day Vegitarian Trial

Today I begin a vegetarian diet!

I am not ready to declare myself a vegetarian just yet. But perhaps the experience of (and writing about) my first 30 days living as a full-on veg will change that.

I've been thinking more seriously about going completely vegetarian for a while now.  I don't eat meat very often, and when I do it is usually a small component of the meal.  Since moving to the new apartment this year, I am pretty sure I've only cooked meat twice.  I certainly have eaten meat more often than that - either when my boyfriend cooked burgers or when we've eaten at local Cuban restaurants and I've indulged in beef empanadas.

The fact that I eat meat so infrequently serves as both a catalyst and impetus for me to switch to a completely vegetarian diet. In one respect I think that I should make the full commitment, which would be an easy transition since I already seldom eat meat. But then on the other hand I think, since I so seldom eat meat and hardly contribute to the meat industry, why bother becoming a vegetarian when I can focus efforts elsewhere? Of course, it's also easier to just eat meat sometimes. And I'm not sure why I couldn't put effort into being vegetarian and contributing to whatever other causes...

So what has pushed me to make the full move to vegetarianism? Well, yesterday afternoon I was watching the film Life in a Day, while reading some blogs, sending some emails.  The film, which shows slices of life as documented and submitted via youtube by filmmakers all over the globe on the 24th of July, 2010, includes the execution of a cow. We see the docile animal standing in a sterile crated area shot by a worker in the head. Seconds go by. The animal is still alive, eyes darting around in panic. The worker shoots it a second time in the head. More time goes by. It felt like hours but I suppose it was probably only 20-30 seconds. Then, once the cow collapses from the head wounds, another worker opens the crate to let the animal fall out to the floor, and then he slits the cow's throat, allowing the blood to run along the tiled floor to a drain.

I can't tell you how horrifying I found this clip to be. I was trying to cover my eyes and just look away until the next segment began, but the execution was dragged out for so long! Finally, I had to just shut the film off - fumbling in a panic with the Xbox controller. I felt like I would vomit. Tears came to my eyes and I was overtaken with emotion. And disgust. Disgust.

Right then I decided to stop contributing to that - to the mass slaughter and general mistreatment of animals, particularly those in factory farming, for the consumption and economies of a class of people that can afford to eat more humanely, but chooses not to.

For me this is an ethical decision. I wholeheartedly believe in the health benefits of a vegetarian diet; however, those benefits are not what drives me. I have already eaten meat so seldom for years that I already do largely experience those health benefits.

Being that it is an ethical decision, you may wonder how I feel about eating eggs and dairy products. And well, honestly, it's something I feel guilty about but continue to do. I try to make ethical decisions when buying these types of products, but really, I know that's not cutting it, because well, the options to make ethical purchases just aren't readily available.

Since I enjoy cooking and often take photos of the food I've prepared for facebook, I will try to highlight the best of my new vegetarian creations here. Tonight I actually have a vegan dinner guest, my ex-boyfriend's sister Ali Berman. So, I will be making a spinach apple salad, roasted thyme potato stacks, and a Moroccan butternut squash chickpea stew.

Wish me luck!

Diamonds: No Longer Forever when Someone Steals from Your Home

Yes, I suppose I have had a few things stolen from me in the past. Like that time in college when I was in the emergency room sleeping on a gurney with a very high fever and someone went through my purse, taking my credit cards. Or when I was browsing in The Gap on New Year's Eve afternoon in 2009 and someone stole my purse - how and exactly when, I never could figure out. And while those losses sucked, and were great inconveniences, they weren't quite the same as this most recent, unfortunate, and personal grievance.

A week ago, while returning a ring to my jewelry box, I opened the top drawer to find it completely disheveled and immediately noticed my two most precious rings to be missing: The white gold and diamond flower and vine design ring that was my mothers - a ring she gave me my sophomore year of college simply because I admired it and she was happy I was interested in wearing jewelry at all. And the antique white gold and diamond ring that my mother and I picked out together on the afternoon of my 21st birthday, shown below.

These were two rings that I wore every single day for 6 of the last 9 years. There was a time I took one off in order to wear an engagement ring and then a wedding band. And then there was the time I put them back on when those rings had lost their value.

When I saw that my jewelry had been disturbed, I guess I was in shock and simply closed the drawer and walked away. I didn't want to think about it.

Then a few hours later I started the search. Looking every possible place I could have put a ring down, even though I KNEW I hadn't worn any of that jewelry since we moved into the new apartment. The search, and more consideration about my jewelry revealed that 6 rings in total were missing. Four white gold and diamond, one white gold with pink tourmaline and diamonds, and one solid yellow gold. All the other missing rings had been my mothers.


We figured out that there was an evening when workers were in our apartment - piano movers, lead by our landlord's regular maintenance guy who was also there to check on a problem with the master bedroom shower - when any one of them could have had opportunity to take the rings. We filed a police report and luckily were able to report the loss under my boyfriend's renters insurance policy. The maximum insured value is only about half of what it would cost to replace the rings.


But the money isn't the issue. I could not care less about the insurance money. I just want my mother's rings back. I know they are just objects, and my mother would have been frustrated but not devastated over lost jewelry, and that I should not let myself be so effected by the loss. There are much more important things in the world.

I have many years ahead of me to face without my mother. Too many. And with this jewelry theft, there are just a few less reminders of my mother for me to carry with me. Like the nightgown of hers that I used to wear regularly until it tore along the seam... It all just reminds me that one day I won't have any of these physical reminders left. And that makes me sad.

Plus, the fact that this loss is the result of a violation from someone who I voluntarily had in my home is devastating. Now we are dealing with surveillance cameras and have changed locks and my jewelry is all well hidden (making it so that I no longer consider wearing it, unfortunately). It changed how I feel about this place that I am, for now at least, calling home. And well, that kinda sucks.

Wedding Gift Etiquette: another Kim Kardashian controversy

Okay, so we all know that Kim Kardashian is a professional attention seeker who had what appears to be an entirely staged relationship and wedding for a 72 day marriage, all in pursuit of her career.  A marriage that made her an even wealthier publicity hound and money grubber. (I considered avoiding my personal judgement/dislike of this celebrity that I really don't know, but hey, it's my personal blog, so I'll judge!) 

Now arises the issue of what the couple should do with the wedding gifts. Return? Keep? Kim's response is to keep the gifts, but donate twice the monetary value to a charity, the Dream Foundation.  (I really hope the Kardashians do not make money in any way from this charity!!)  This little stunt will get her a tax write-off that returning the gifts would not. 

I say the gifts should be returned. If this were a normal couple who divorced in 72 days, I wouldn't necessarily agree.  I mean really, for the average person there would need to be some pretty extreme circumstances to cause a divorce that soon.  But this is a wealthy celebrity couple who should not have accepted gifts to begin with! I don't think they even had a marital home, so where would they have used these gifts?

I personally was married in 2005 and separated from my now ex-husband only two years later. It took another three years to officially end the "union." I had a big formal wedding (200+ guests) on Long Island for which people gave me generous gifts. I registered for gifts and had a bridal shower as well. (None of this was my doing, I was the anti-bride and traditional wedding stuff was forced upon me.)  

And I STILL feel guilty that I have gifts for what was a very real and unfortunate, but short marriage.  The monetary gifts were used to support my dead-beat-ex who never worked or even looked for work during, and then for years after, our marriage.  So, certainly I was never in a position to return those gifts.  But I would if I could!  I swear!  I also have very nice china and silver (real solid sterling silver flatware) and crystal, most of which I use and enjoy and will keep for as long as I can foresee, but I do feel a twinge of guilt for having these gifts for a marriage that crashed and burned.  Perhaps my guilt is a bigger issue!! But I am concerned that I offended wedding guests who undoubtedly judge me for such a short lived marriage that they spent money celebrating.

As always, I welcome opinions!